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I Just Want Some Popcorn, Robot
I used to like going the movies. Growing up before VCR's became a family-room
staple, an evening out to the 'dollar' theater was a real treat in our household.
Oh, there was the occasional outing to the mall's 6-theater Cineplexodion for
a new release, but that usually happened with people from other families.
No complaints here. A movie was a movie. Big screen, booming Dolby, snuck
in food. It was all good.
I still remember one Christmas Eve back in the early 80s when my parents took
my siblings and I to see Popeye (the Robin Williams one). It was snowing
that night. Beautiful, white snow falling against the festive background of
the Park Forest shopping plaza with a huge, one screen theater. We were the
only people in the theater. It was the ultimate Christmas gift for someone
who didn't celebrate Christmas.
Watching a movie in a theater these days is much different. Maybe it's because
I'm an adult and understand the value of a dollar. Maybe it's because I know
how marketing manipulates. Maybe it's because I've seen enough movies in my
32 years that it takes something extra special to get me excited. Or maybe
it's because I know that I can buy a 50 pound bag of popcorn seeds at Sam's
Club for $8.00.
This week I accompanied my sci-fi hublet to I, Robot. The matinee
tickets cost $5.75 each. The medium popcorn and medium drink cost $8.00 more.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
BUT WAIT!
"ORDER your movie tickets NOW and
receive an unabashed viewing of pre-show product commercials in addition
to a half hour of movie trailers! Yes, PAY to watch marketing
clips featuring mobile phones, cosmetics, and paper bag puppets singing F-A-N-D-A-N-G-O! Really!
PLUS — purchase our saturated overpriced concessions
for outrageous sums of money and receive a tiny, cone-shaped cup with a pointy
bottom for your 'can I have a cup for water' request, because we're not allowed
to give you a regular cup, even though the money we collected on your sugar
water can buy a thousand cups big enough to fit over your head!
YES YOU can enjoy cell phones ringing, cellophane wrappers
crinkling, and as much back-of-seat kicking you want at your nearest air
conditioned, stadium-seating, MOVIEPLEXODEON!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ahem.
But still, there is something fun and magical about going to the movies, isn't
there? •
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