The Journey Home:
Discovering Self

By Kevin Nixon

From the day we are born we are on a journey. It is a journey of discovery. Even our choice to materialize on this planet is based on a desire to discover. While what we choose to discover appears to be different, that is, externally speaking; our need to search is nevertheless and often unknowingly driven by the same desire: We all have an intrinsic need to reach the peak of our existence.

And there is so much to life that we are not aware of or that we are afraid to delve into simply because others have labeled it evil. We have given up our sovereignty as individuals for the "security" of living in the valley of smooth walls, where there are no peaks to scale. Oz appears to be a wonderful place and the wizard does indeed have a hat full of tricks.

Again, we all have a need to discover. Some of us are intense in our methods and some of us are mellow. Yet despite the methodology, the intensity or lightness of the pursuit, we all (consciously or unconsciously) push forward in a singular quest. It is a quest to discover the greatest of uncharted territories. This territory is vast and holds many hidden treasures. It is the territory of self.

Everything that we experience ("good" and "bad") is an experience designed to bring us closer to understanding who we are. How we respond to our experiences determines if, at that moment, we move further away or come closer to this understanding. I say at that moment because eventually, the experience will be repeated, again and again — affording us infinite opportunities to correctly respond. And the moment we give the correct response, we take a quantum leap in the discovery of self.

Once you find yourself, once you find your authentic self, from that point on your life, if you choose, can have a synergetic flow to it. Yes, you will have trials and tribulations; but remember I said that how you respond to these tribulations will determine if you expand or shrink. And be ever mindful that finding your self is not an endpoint; it is rather a continuous process. Too many of us give too much of our focus to the destination and not enough focus to the journey. Thinking about the tomorrow has its place but life truly only happens here, in the now.

Having found your authentic voice, you will begin to want to change. In fact, change is an organic result of a new self. One area in which you will desire the greatest change is in how you spend your waking hours. This is because you will have become keenly aware of the value of time. Most of our time is spent engaged in activities that very often do not give expression to our life's purpose; therefore, it is here that you may desire the greatest change. The more you delve into yourself, the closer you will come to discovering your true mission on this planet. If you have been living as a lawyer when in fact you are truly meant to be a writer, suddenly you will discover yourself writing. In fact, you will ache for it. If on the other hand, you were living as a writer but were meant to be a lawyer, you will begin to seek out ways to go to law school. It does not matter what the true purpose of your life is, when discovery leads you to authenticity, you will seek to live your making rather than continuing to only make a living.

The great intuitive fear of finding your authentic self is that once it is discovered you will not be able to go back to the self you previously thought you were. Hear this again, YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO RETURN TO YOUR PREVIOUS SELF! Yes, externally, you can readopt old habits. You can un-synergize, so to speak. But, I tell you; spiritually you will be in chaos; for you will have come into contact with your better self and turned your back on the opportunity to bring that better self to fruition. And this turning back while knowing better will bring chaos to your life. This is why many hold to the saying, "ignorance is bliss." It takes courage to merely peak behind the veil of your own existence; to walk through the door takes chutzpa. •

© 2011 Kevin Nixon. All rights reserved.

Kevin Nixon is an author, speaker, and healer, specializing in the ancient healing modality know as Reiki. Kevin currently conducts creativity workshops and healing sessions in the Metro Atlanta area. More »

2/21/11