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By Vivian Nesbitt | Posted June 1, 2007 | Updated October 30, 2019
When I sit down to write I am faced with what I call Ma Blessure Favori (my favorite wound).
Like Soup du jour it's an annoying constant on the menu. It's one that has given me many gifts through the years, by opening my eyes to the fragility of the human mind and the resiliency of resentment.
Yet time after time, I find myself standing on the edge of the beautiful lake of creativity, wading comfortably up to my knees splashing and picking up interesting rocks and shells.
I long to move deeper into the water and let myself stretch full length into the depths that are calling and as I start to dive as a small voice says "Wait, don't let that wound get wet!" It usually stops me cold and I acquiesce, believing that it is better stay up to my knees and safe than dealing with an open wound.
Nowadays I think to myself, why not let that wound get wet. Have I become so attached to it that I am willing to let an invitation from the universe of infinite potential slip by one more time?
What if by swimming deep I find myself healed and happier when I lift myself from the cool water of creative process? What if that wound was actually an open door into my soul that makes me unique and more melodic in the song that is my Life.
What if the creative process brings necessary nutrients to that gaping crater and allows it to become a beautiful garden in which I can sit and enjoy the fruits of my labors?
The only way to know is to try. The trying may be challenging enough, in that simply becoming willing to be willing is no mean feat.
Lateral moves are sometimes a good way to start the engines of allowing pulsing so I dive in and swim at a right angle to the beach where the water is no deeper but my perspective has changed because I did it under water this time. Building on this success maybe I can go a little father out of my depth.
Interesting that I chose this metaphor. Truth be known I am lousy swimmer. I was told in a swim class at the age of 11 that I was a sinker — heavy boned — not prone to floating easily.
So now regardless of what another person's opinion may be about my ability to survive a serious attempt at deep water, I must also become willing to let go of other people's opinion of my Favorite Wound.
Becoming willing to be willing and making small conscious efforts, helps me move beyond all preconceptions and pre-existing conditions into a splendid new territory called my life as art.
©2006 Vivian Nesbitt. All rights reserved.
Vivian Nesbitt is co-host and co-producer of Art of the Song Coffeehouse with her husband John Dillon. ...
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