Writers Can Grow to Be Comfortable with
Criticism
By Bonnie Boots
On my first newspaper assignment as a critic, I was well prepared
to dish it out. I was less prepared to take it. Imagine my surprise
when my witty, well-crafted critique drew a smattering of letters
filled with name-calling and nasty words. It stung. Could the
critic handle criticism? I discovered that with some emotional
discipline and introspection, I could not only handle criticism,
I could grow from it. Here's how.
Allow yourself to feel hurt — briefly. It's natural to be shocked
and hurt by criticism. Recognize it, feel it but don't allow yourself
to wallow in it. Knowing you have a technique for dealing with
criticism allows you to put the breaks on hurt feelings as you
move on to the next step.
Consider the source. All critics can be divided into three categories.
The critic can be a crank, someone that lives in pain and feels
the need to spread it around. The critic can be a self-appointed
expert. Such people feel they have a duty to point out other people's
shortcomings. Or the critic can be a mentor, someone whose thoughtful,
objective opinion can help you improve your performance.
Deal with it. If your critic is a crank, recognize that such
people attack anyone or anything that draws their attention. Say
a prayer for them as you put their remarks through your mental
paper shredder. If your critic is a self-appointed expert, consider
their motivation. Does it seem they honestly want to help you
improve? Or is their purpose to disparage you so they can feel
superior? In either case, their criticism may hold a grain of
truth. Be open to looking for it. But if you sense your critic
needs to drag you down so they can lift themselves up, raise your
emotional barriers. Consider any aspect of their criticism that
seems valid, but don't allow them to shake your sense of self-worth.
Hopefully, your critic is the third type, a mentor, someone whose
opinion you can respect. Their criticism is well thought-out and
deserves your serious attention. Consider what they say and see
if it offers you an opportunity to improve an actual flaw.
Move on. Take what valid points you can from your critic. Decide
whether or not you want to use the criticism as an opportunity
for self-improvement, then move on. If you find yourself dwelling
on criticism, allowing it to drain your energy and confidence,
shut the door on it. Visualize your critic, or their letter, framed
in a doorway. Imagine yourself shutting the door with a satisfying
slam, hearing the click of the lock and walking away. See the
door getting smaller and smaller until it disappears in the past.
This signals your self on many different levels that you're closing
the door on the event and moving on.
Writers of any kind will always be met with criticism. You don't
have to like it, but you can refuse to be wounded by it. Learning
to handle criticism in a calm and self-confident spirit will help
you grow as a writer and as a person. •
© 2005 Bonnie Boots
 About the Author | More by Bonnie Boots
Bonnie Boots (www.BonnieBoots.com) is an award-winning writer and designer who says all writers should show off their talent by wearing their Write Side Out! Her wise and witty product line of gear that shows the world you're a writer is at www.WriteSideOut.com.
07/30/05
|
