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Collaging with Cancer

Resting in the Healing Light

By Anne Marie Bennett

If you’ve ever had to go through surgery of any kind, you have experienced a certain kind of fear. First of all, you have to shed everything you own and lie down on a metal gurney covered only with a thin cotton gown and blanket. Then you have to surrender your very life to the surgeons and the anesthesiologists who are attending to you.

For me, approaching my own surgery to remove my left breast was particularly terrifying. Not only was I trusting that I would wake up afterwards, I was also trusting that my surgeon would be able to see clear margins around the angiosarcoma tumor (no chance of the cancer cells spreading).

I had made this SoulCollage® card along with many others when I’d first heard of my diagnosis in July of 2011. It was made intuitively (as many SoulCollage® cards are) and quickly; I just clipped out images that I loved and glued them together in a way that felt good to my eye and my heart. As I was preparing for the surgery, this particular card had a special message for me. I did some journaling with it, and here is what it said to me:

Who are you?
I Am the One Who is choosing to rest in the healing arms of my angels. I Am the One Who is surrounded by wings and love and deep comfort as I walk into the surgical suite and lie down on the cot.

I Am the One Who rests in safety during my surgery and afterwards, knowing that the pure clean light of Spirit is lighting my surgeon’s way to clean margins and my own way towards healing.

I Am the One Who allows myself comfort and rest in the weeks after the surgery.

What do you have to give me?
I give you rest and safety and protection. I give you the knowing that it is all right to close your eyes and let go into sleep.

What do you need from me?
I need you to remember that you are always, continually and ever more being held in the arms of an angel, no matter what you are doing or what you are thinking. The angels are wrapping their love and care around your body, your mind and your spirit.

Doing this work with this very healing image, brought me to a deep place of rest and calm. It is hard to describe because it almost defies ordinary experience. I went into that surgery feeling just a sliver of what might have been a paralyzing and distracting fear. Instead of giving myself over to the debilitating fear of the unknown, I simply believed that I was indeed resting in the arms of this being of light and healing. •

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© 2012 Anne Marie Bennett. All rights reserved.

Anne Marie Bennett is a published author, self-taught artist, and SoulCollage® Facilitator/Trainer with a website dedicated to helping women with any kind of cancer stay connected to Self, Others, and Spirit. More »

12/20/12