Inner Voices of Creativity

Self-Doubt: Creativity Killer

By Anne Marie Bennett

When I made this SoulCollage® card for my personal deck, I knew exactly what I was creating. This card symbolizes that part of me who is laden with questions about my validity and self-worth. This “doubting Thomas” part of me surfaces pretty much regularly during any creative work that I do.

This is what she sounds like in my inner world:

I am the one who questions my ability to do anything and everything. I am the one who stands in the dark and refuses to see the light in my own soul. I am the one who doesn’t recognize my own beauty, my own gifts to the world. I am the one who stands with my back to my own beauty.

I am laden with the heavy breath of caution.

I give you a way to not attempt new things. I give you a heart burdened with questions. But I am not all darkness and shadow and constriction. Sometimes I actually stop you from getting in over your head. My job is to keep you from failure and disappointment.

Some other things that this voice likes to say to me from time to time are: I don’t think I can write this short story. I’m not good enough at altered books yet so I’d better not make one for my friend Dawn’s birthday gift next month. I can’t really write as good as _____ so I won’t submit an article to their website.

I love this Self-Doubt SoulCollage® card because it reminds me that when I doubt my own creativity, I remain in shadow and silence. When I allow this voice of Self-Doubt to take over my inner thoughts, I feel like I am holding my breath, like I am blinded to the true bursting beauty of my soul.

When I remember that the true mission of this inner voice is to protect me from failure, then I can honestly assess each situation and note if I am truly in danger of failing. If I am, I can take some steps towards success or I can decide to abandon that particular path. But if I am not, then it is my responsibility to simply notice this inner conversation and continue forward on my own path of creativity in spite of it. I find that when I do this, my Self-Doubt lessens and my creative self is strengthened.

Inner Reflection:

Listen carefully inside yourself right now. Is there an inner voice in your mind that is full of self-doubt? A voice that continually questions your right to be a creative person in any way? Write down exactly what this voice is saying to you. Find some images in magazines that symbolize this voice to you and create a SoulCollage® card for this part of you. Then write a dialog with it, not necessarily to silence it, but to simply find out why it says these things to you. •

© 2007 Anne Marie Bennett. All rights reserved.

About the Author | More by Anne Marie Bennett
Anne Marie is a freelance writer and collage artist whose main passion is to spread the power of the SoulCollage process as far as possible. Anne Marie lives, laughs, sings, works, (and makes her own SoulCollage cards!) in Beverly, MA. To learn how to make your own SoulCollage® cards, please visit www.kaleidosoul.com.

3/10/07