Take Ten

_{This creative writing exercise is from Take Ten for Writers by Bonnie Neubauer}

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Take Ten for Writers • No. 60 Creative Writing Exercise

[Seuss-erific] Q & A

Responding to Quirky Seuss-Like Questions!

By Bonnie Neubauer | Updated September 9, 2018

What started off as an imaginary conversation between made-up friends about real questions toddlers ask ended up with the development of the fictitious Dictionary of Ludicrous “What If” Questions. Each crazy question is accompanied by a long-winded, equally ludicrous response penned by a lexicographer-for-hire. (A lexicographer is a person who writes and compiles a dictionary.)

You are today’s ludicrous lexicographer. When penning your response, think of Dr. Seuss or other children’s books to get in the groove of answering your “what if” question.

Pick a number between 1 and 10: ______.

Find your number below. This will generate a ludicrous “what if” question to be answered.

Q & A List

Find your number here. Use the choices in the grid to generate a ludicrous “what if” question to be answered. (An example from grid 1: What if babies earned French fries?)

1	What if computers	caressed	french fries?
	What if bulldozers	earned	kisses?
	What if paper	grabbed	mushrooms?
	What if babies	healed	nuns?
2	What if park rangers	zipped	nouns?
	What if genies	rented	opera stars?
	What if cows	irritated	prayers?
	What if cockroaches	quizzed	onions?
3	What if managers	yearned for	violins?
	What if newspapers	examined	umbrellas?
	What if politicians	waxed	fortune cookies?
	What if puppies	invented	wedding rings?
4	What if potatoes	vexed	swords?
	What if donkeys	unearthed	disasters?
	What if blizzards	chewed	peppers?
	What if comedians	contaminated	odors?
5	What if trees	wore	knees?
	What if hair	drank	garlic?
	What if thumbs	grew	glasses?
	What if cherries	lost	shoes?
6	What if generosity	drooled	ice cubes?
	What if canaries	copied	pollution?
	What if pillows	married	ideas?
	What if bookstores	aped	cinnamon?
7	What if ovens	questioned	dreams?
	What if bicycles	blasted	diapers?
	What if buildings	beat up on	photographers?
	What if baseballs	romanced	tulips?
8	What if televisions	investigated	wood?
	What if machine guns	relied on	lawn mowers?
	What if paint	showered	race cars?
	What if pizza	documented	feminine products?
9	What if radios	raised	alligators?
	What if money	mated with	grapes?
	What if schools	socialized with	avalanches?
	What if parks	crushed	brides?
10	What if rules	slid down	devils?
	What if monsters	blessed	egg hunts?
	What if teenagers	sliced	icicles?
	What if cookies	demolished	hangers?

Now TAKE TEN minutes and WRITE!

TAKE TEN Take-Away

If you’re stuck in the middle of a piece, ask yourself some non-related “what if” questions like: What if the plot were a light bulb? What if this character were a bird? What if this magazine article were blown up to be the size of a Thanksgiving Day parade balloon? You will likely generate odd answers that will expand your thinking and enable you to brainstorm beyond your normal limits. No matter how absurd it seems, the more you think like this, the more you will come up with original solutions to writing challenges.

Next: Saucy Millionaire Writing Exercise