Creativity Coaching

The Feelings of Change: Emotions are Powerful Agents

By Susan Ann Darley | Posted 7/7/07 | Updated 4/15/24

Once while taking a class on the power of the mind the teacher said, "you carry with you a number of probable realities and the one with the most emotion under it will determine the reality you live in."

Therefore, you can chant positive affirmations and practice visualizing yourself in a new desired experience, but if you are ruled by fear and negative emotions you will attract fearful experiences and negative conditions.

Emotions are powerful agents for change.

Your feeling state at any given moment is providing you with valuable information. You may feel sad, joyful, angry, jealous or loving. There is no wrong or right to having the feeling. In-fact the tendency to suppress feelings can be psychologically and physically detrimental. But your emotional response to the feeling will let you know if you are reacting constructively or destructively.

Two people may be feeling sad, but the way they emotionally express the way they feel can be completely different from one another. Most likely the way they express their emotion is based on their beliefs. Our beliefs create our behaviors and our behaviors create our life conditions. To determine the cause of problem areas in your life, work backwards. First look at the condition, then look at your behavior, then look at the cause — your belief.

Example: Carole is a 37-year-old professional accountant earning $47,000 a year. Condition — Carole never has any money. Behavior — She shops compulsively at stores, catalogues and online. Belief — She has poor self-esteem. She believes she must always have more in order to cover up the way she feels about herself.

Once Carole changes the belief about herself she will begin to alter her behavior and eventually the condition will change.

Quick Change

Okay, I admit to being a part of the fire-walking craze. It's not that I like pain, but I'm hands-on and I like to personally test theories.

So off I went to class and believe me unlike a few others I've sat through, this one held my attention. Who wants burnt feet?

With the help of a dynamic teacher, we reconditioned ourselves to change a belief that we had held our entire lifetime — the belief that red-hot coals will burn you. It is a powerful belief because it is a collective belief.

Our teacher worked with us at the level of emotions. Collectively we became emotionally charged. Our heightened energy was the glue that would cement our new belief in place that would allow us to walk across the red hot coals without getting burned.

I know there are skeptics who debunk the fire-walking experience. That is fine. In-fact I did it because I am both curious and skeptical. But the next skeptic who says it isn't so needs to be standing on hot-coals while they're speaking.

Is there an area of your life that you have been trying to change and yet it's not budging? Don't give up. Begin to consciously use your emotions as an agent of positive change. If you find that you are ruled by dominant negative emotional reactions try smiling. When you are in the midst of rage and smile what happens?

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. says in Bill Moyers' book Healing and the Mind, "Make a fist and feel the energy that's associated with that. Then unclench your fist and put your hands together in the traditional position of prayer. Can you feel the difference? The next time you're really angry, just try putting your hand together like this and see how long you can hold on to your anger."

Remember you do have a choice. What will you choose?

Next: Fitting in… or Not

Copyright ©2006 Susan Ann Darley. All rights reserved.