I Can Do It Myself … Or Can I?

Using SoulCollage® to Facilitate Supportive Connections

Posted 2/1/07 | Updated 9/12/20


This seemingly strong, independent voice can really hinder your creative work. Reach out, take a risk, and watch your creativity flourish.

For as long as I can remember, this "independent self" inner voice of mine has been in control of my life. Somewhere along the way, I learned that asking for help was dangerous. Somewhere on my journey, I learned that it was more desirable to try to do it alone than to reach out to others for assistance.

I placed this image on a SoulCollage® card (even though it's technically not a "collage") because it best describes that part of me who hates asking for help. And I created a card for my SoulCollage® Deck to honor this part of me because I know that she needs recognition.

Listen to what she says when I ask her to tell me her story. See if you recognize a similar voice in your own inner world.

SoulCollage Card Created by Anne Marie BennettI am the one who can do it myself.

I told you… I am the one who does things alone, who doesn't need help from anybody else. If I have to ask for help it means that I am weak.

If I have to ask for help, then it means that people will think less of me.

I am the one who struggles with certain tasks but I am strong and I can do them alone anyway. I am the one who doesn't like to ask for help because it means admitting that I am not as strong and independent as I want to be.

This part of me really hinders my creative work. If I'm trying to market my website and I give in to this voice, then I am limited in how far my outreach can spread. If I'm eager to learn how to create an altered book and I refuse to ask my friend to show me how she made hers, then I'm cutting myself off from the joy of deepening a friendship, as well as from the easy pleasure of a new creative activity.

I have only just begun to allow myself to reach out to others and ask for help without feeling like I am weak or dependent. This is something that I will continue to practice as I travel on my journey, because the absolute truth is that sometimes (a lot of times!) I really can't do it myself. But that is what my community is for.

That is why I've been blessed with friends, brothers, a husband, stepchildren, and in-laws. Because I am connected to so many who love me… it is not necessary to "do it myself" all the time.

And the wonderful thing is… they can't do it alone either. And so the web is strengthened, as we all weave it together, for one another.

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Inner Reflection:

Is there a part of you who insists on "doing it yourself" even though you could use some help? Allow it to speak. Allow it to tell you its story. Then, just one time this week, take a deep breath and reach out to someone else by asking for help (in a big or small way).

Watch what happens when you do this. If you are put down in some way for asking for help, then choose someone else to ask. Make a list of creative projects that you have going on, and choose one that you really could use help with. Brainstorm until you are reminded of the perfect person to help you with it. Then ASK. You don't have to do it by yourself.

©2007 Anne Marie Bennett. All rights reserved.