Dec 11 ADVENTure

Shoehorning


By Chris Dunmire | Posted 11/26/23


"Size up. The kids grow fast." —The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe


ContractWe interrupt these Christmas ADVENTures with an important legal announcement.

As part of their benefits package, the shoe-making elves negotiated a lesson on shoemaking in the ADVENTure calendar.

At first, they wanted to do a 10-minute play, but since the ADVENTures are supposed to be brief, I said, "summarize in bullet points."

The editor couldn't decide on "shoe-making", "shoemaking" or "shoe making" so allowed them all.

Disclaimer: No actual shoe making instructions are in the lessons.

7 Shoemaking Lessons*

(in bullet-form for brevity, bolded for emphasis)

  1. Brannock DeviceThe holes that laces are threaded through are called eyelets.
  2. The plastic bits at the end of the laces are aglets.
  3. The industry-standard foot measuring tool is called a Brannock Device and was invented by Charles Brannock in 1925.
  4. The elves felt their "shoes" are neither a shoe nor a slipper and couldn't agree what to call them, but wanted a bullet anyway.
  5. A shoe horn is not a musical instrument.
  6. The tongue in the shoe has no taste buds.
  7. Since 2008, elves are no longer allowed to bail out shoe shop owners in the middle of the night on the verge of bankruptcy due to poor business management.

*Two actual lessons, one shoe-adjacent fact, and four unlaced claims.


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